First of all, I’d like to apologize to all of you lovely people for my absence on this blog. I started this year off super active on here and ended up losing my touch as soon as the semester began :(. But don’t worry, I’ll be explaining everything in this blog post and getting back to a routine! It’s been a hectic last quarter to the year but it’s only uphill from here on out!
Fall Semester of Sophomore Year
Is it just me… or was that semester the most BRUTAL beating of our lives???? I don’t know how and I don’t know why but for some reason everything that could’ve gone wrong, WENT WRONG.
My mental health ? TRASH!
My stability ? TRASH!
My classes ? TRASH!
Okay maybe not all my classes, but math was DEFINITELY TRASH!
Honestly, I’m going to blame everything on math because math has a way of messing up everyone’s life. SMH.
Now that the rant is out of the way, let me take the time to explain.
What really happened
I started my semester off great. I had awesome friends, great mental health, classes were going well. And then all of a sudden, I woke up one morning and it was like something clicked inside me. I was no longer Tathy, I was a completely different person. I couldn’t understand 3/6 of my classes, all I did was pull all nighters, my mood was constantly changing, my mentality was horrendous, and my blog game? non-existent.
I ended up dropping a class because it was the smartest thing to do. I had over 80 assignments to do per week for that one class. It would take up every second of my life and every fiber of energy I had to excel in it. Only to find out…. the class was USELESS. I originally thought that it would give me credit towards one of my university requirements….. it. did. not. Essentially, the class was completely useless so all the stress I picked up from it was for NOTHING.
I thought that by me dropping the class everything would change internally. That did not happen. It was extremely hard for me to find a balance. I felt completely behind in everything. I thought that I was a complete failure.
In all honesty, the whole semester my mind was playing games with me. Instead of positive thinking, my brain would psych me out and make me think that everything was going wrong, which in turn, made everything WRONG.
I was also sick the majority of the semester. Constant colds, a concussion, migraines, body exhaustion. It was a complete and utter nightmare.
Why I didn’t blog
To me, blogging is such an amazing thing. It’s my way of being creative and my goal with this blog is not only to turn it into a full time business but also to inspire and encourage people to be the best versions of themselves.
That being said, I didn’t want to ruin this amazing thing. I didn’t want to taint it with the bad energy that I had inhabited within me.
My blog is very sacred to me and it’s something that I will always cherish. I never want to be that blogger who’s telling you that everything is perfect, but then behind the scenes, I’m broken.
Which is why I decided to stay away. Each time I would create a new draft to start a post, I could never finish it because all that negativity that was surrounding me would cloud my mind. I honestly feel like there was some sort of force keeping me from being able to write a blog post because it knew that once I felt better, I would’ve beat myself over the fact that I was posting while being in that state of mind.
After the semester ended, I still felt a bit broken inside. I couldn’t think properly so I took a couple of days to myself just to relax, sleep, and reflect.
My reflection led me to a realization that is honestly so powerful to me and has completely shifted my entire demeanor.
I realized that God, the spirits, or whatever powerful being that’s taking care of me right now, needed me to hit rock bottom before the decade ended. There are so many blessings and opportunities coming my way in this new decade that there’s absolutely no room for any brokenness.
I am going to achieve greatness in the next ten years. Therefore, I needed to go through this emotional and mental turmoil before starting this new book in my life.
I needed to break so that I could pick myself up and rebuild an entirely new version of myself that is strong enough to deal with everything that is coming my way this new decade.
Once I realized this, EVERYTHING changed.
The future of Vibrant & Gray
2020 is super exciting! I have a bunch of projects in the works for this new year and the years to come afterwards. However, for right now I will only speak about two of them.
Something that I’ve really been enjoying recently is poetry. I love how a couple of words can tell you so much and make you feel so many emotions. Which is why I’ve decided to add another component to my blog at the start of the new year. Poetry!
I’m going to write a separate blog post about this but on January 10th I will be launching a poetry series on my blog. It will feature poems written by me, my friends, and people from the writing community, as well as anyone who would love to submit some poems to me.
Essentially my goal with this is to allow myself and others the ability to have a creative outlet where they can express their emotions and desires through the use of poetry.
I feel that as time passes less and less people care about poetry so why not bring it back?
I am BEYOND excited about this because I’ve been planning this for over a year now. Coming February 10, 2020, I will be launching my first ever podcast!!!!
I’ve been obsessed with podcasts this entire year and have really wanted to explore the horizon myself. My podcast will mostly be geared towards personal development but I’ll also be talking about life in general. I want my listeners to relate to what I’m speaking on and also feel inspired to tackle their dreams
I plan on having it live on Apple Podcast as well as Spotify to begin with and then eventually transfer it to other outlets as well.
I would like to thank all my loyal readers for sticking by me and still checking in on my blog to read my previous posts. It means the absolute world to me to know that even when I’m gone, it’s like I never really left. The amount of support and love that I have received from you guys on Twitter and Instragram is TREMENDOUS! So thank you to all of you.
I can’t wait to see the V&G family grow and thrive together and see what’s in store with all the projects I’m working on.
It’s not about where I’ve been, it’s about where I’m going.
Now I get to say something I’ve been dying to say for a while….
Until next time,
Stay Vibrant & Embrace The Gray