My number one priority this year is myself. I want to make sure that I have solid goals, I’m following my dreams, and that my life is 100% according to me and my rules. Doing this is not an easy task because as people, we tend to want to care for others more than we care for ourselves. Which is a beautiful concept. However, in doing so, we forget to take care of our own selves and love ourselves more. This is going to change this year. This new year is all about putting yourself first and catering to your needs.
Focusing on yourself is extremely important for your mental health and it is my job in this post to teach you exactly how to do so.
The first thing I want you to know is that it’s okay to be selfish. Yes, I said it. GO AHEAD AND BE SELFISH! I know that growing up we’re taught that we shouldn’t be, that we need to put others first, and that it’s not okay to be selfish. But I am telling you right now, it is completely okay. Sometimes you just need to focus on yourself. Sometimes you have too much going on in your head to listen to others. THAT IS COMPLETELY OKAY!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to not care for others and to be self-centered. I’m simply telling you that it’s time to take better care of yourself and do more things for YOU.
Step 1: Reflection of Yourself
When it comes to reflection, I want you to take a seat, a deep breathe and think of three things:
1. Where was I a year ago?
2. Where am I today?
3. Where do I want to be a year from now?
It’s crucial that you answer these questions truthfully in order to take a full advantage of this process. Being able to acknowledge where you were last year and how that has led you to today and how you want to be moving forward, is an essential part of growth. Without reflection, without acknowledgement, there is no growth.
You can answer these questions in regards to emotions, financial status, career, school, frienships, relationships, any aspect you desire. Trust me, when you have an honest chat with yourself about your life, you realize whether you truly are happy or not. When I self-reflected, I realized that, although I did things that made me happy, I was never 100% fulfilled. Being able to see that and acknowledge it, led me to where I am today, writing this blog post and loving every second of it.
“Are you honestly living? Are you getting up every morning, doing what you love, enjoying your life to the fullest? Or have you just settled for the job that you get paid for while neglecting the calling that you were made for?” -Sherman Browne
Step 2: Cutting Ties & Distancing
The hardest part about focusing on yourself is the realization that some people and somethings need to be cut off. You will never get anywhere in life with the same toxic traits and environment as before. That being said, you need to figure out what you have in your life that is keeping you from focusing on yourself and from becoming your best self.
The best people to have around you are those with ambition and goals. Those that are willing to go the extra mile to achieve their dreams. I had a motivational speaker (Sherman Browne) come to my high school once and he said something that really stood out to me: “If you’re constantly hanging out with 4 broke people; you’re likely the 5th one.” You can interpret this whatever way you like whether its financially or productively, but the message remains true: if you surround yourself with people who don’t want to end up anywhere, you will be like that as well.
If someone in your life is not working towards a better tomorrow and is not motivating you to accomplish your goals and keep pushing, they should not be in your life.
Only surround yourself with people who are on your level or above your level. You are not gaining any benefits from those who cherish comfort zones. Once you realize this and truly believe it, your circle will change, but most importantly, you will change. Crazy how mindsets craft who you are right?
Step 3: Investing in Yourself
Once you start to realize that you don’t need certain people in your life, everything starts to change. You stop investing so much time and effort into people and start prioritizing yourself. Investing in yourself allows you to realize that you don’t need anyone to validate your worth and who you are. You become fulfilled and you stop caring what others think of you.
2019 is such a game changer for me. Its the year I started to fully invest in myself and stopped worrying about prioritizing others. I started to fully invest in my future and my goals. I started to invest on my mind and my soul. Now, I am able to critically analyze everything around me and realize what needs to be in my life for my success and what doesn’t.
So go ahead and invest in you. Take that class you’ve always wanted to take just because. Buy that thing you’ve been wanting to buy since you were 10. Follow that dream everyone thinks is crazy. Dedicate time to YOURSELF. Put time, effort, money, and patience into YOU. The only person that needs to validate you is yourself. Not your partner, friend, parents, stangers in the street. YOU. Your life begins and ends with you.
Your success is not determiend by others. It’s determined by how much effort you put into bettering yourself. Before you can succeed you must first believe in yourself and then invest in yourself.
"Your dreams don't work unless you do"
No more them. Just you. It’s about time we start loving ourselves and start doing what makes us happy. I hope that I was able to motivate you into seeing your true potential. Into realizing that it’s okay to love yourself, it’s okay to prioritize yourself, it’s okay to invest in yourself. Stop letting others tell you otherwise. Leave a comment down below with anything you might be struggling with in your journey towards self-improvement. And remember, you are the top priority.
Until next time,
Stay vibrant & embrace the gray.